2646 Ivanhoe Rd.

Yesterday, I decided that we would have cheeseburgers on the grill for dinner and asked Wes to cut up a cucumber, onion, and tomato and throw some olive oil and vinegar and spices on it for a summer salad to go along with them. We also had sweet potato fries. Yummy! The burgers were so good and my mouth is watering thinking of them. Wes asked me about the salad, he said, "Where did you get the idea for this salad, did you just make it up or what?" It was then that a myriad of memories flooded into my brain, all stemming from that salad. I told him that I hadn't made it up, but that my Grandma and Mom always made it with dinners in the summertime at my Grandparents house. The reason being was that my Grandfather always had a garden and it always yielded large amounts of tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers and sometimes onions in the summer! Sometimes we even had multiple different kinds of peppers. I used to help my Grandpa plant that garden and plant all the marigolds to help keep the bunnies from eating the plants! Then I used to eat the tomatoes once they were ripe. My favorite time to eat them was in the afternoon when they were warm from the sun. See, since my Mom was a single Mom and we lived across town from my Grandparents it was almost routine that we would go stay with my Grandparents at their house on the weekends in the summertime mostly. I absolutely loved this. It was like going on vacation every weekend. I got to pack my clothes and toys into suitcases and go to stay with them where we always had a great time. Weekends at my grandparents included lots of great things. For one you could always count on Grandpa's breakfast. He liked to cook breakfast and had a good friend, named Ted McIntyre, that used to wake him up by telling him, "Larry, get up, the day's half shot!" Even though he would be waking my Grandpa up at 630 am. Ted was a great guy and had one of those Scottish terriers that I really liked. My Grandpa used to get up and start cooking breakfast (the only meal he ever cooked) and I can remember laying in my bed smelling the bacon frying. He would then come into my bedroom and tickle my toes to wake me up. If I didn't get up soon he would yell, "Krissy, come on the day's half shot!" which I found so amusing! We would have breakfast together at the table and on Saturdays head outside to play. I can remember from a very small age my Grandfather carrying me around their big yard and letting me touch everything. We used to find baby blue Robin's eggs in bird's nests in the big evergreen trees and rabbits homes under the bushes. We used to dig in the dirt for night crawlers for my Grandpa to take fishing. My favorite memories in the summer were those of when my cousins were home from Florida and we would all stay at my Grandparents house, lined up in sleeping bags on the living room floor. We would often wake up to my Grandma (who claimed she wasn't hard of hearing) in her chair in the corner with the TV on blaring! At night we would go to sleep while she sat in her chair and sang us songs. Those are some of the best memories I have. We would play all kinds of sports in the yard, as well as capture the flag, ghost in the graveyard, hide and go seek and anything else that involved running and screaming. We would also play in my Grandpa's boat and pretend to drive it. The best, though, was when my cousin Jasmine and I would pretend to host a cooking show, in our sand box. We had bowls and fake cake pans and cooking utensils and we would pretend to bake cakes, all the while putting on a demonstration and talking in our cooking show host voices.(it was like a bad combination of Justin Louis (that Lousiana guy) and Julia Child) We would then force my Uncle Butch to video us while doing so, so that we could later watch the video. After dark, we thought it was the coolest thing ever to hang out in the basement and play video games or what not. We would also use the video camera (which was so huge at the time it was hard to carry) and make music videos while using the hose from the vacuum as a microphone. We performed numerous Wilson Phillips videos and also choreographed a ton of dances to the Hungry Eyes song and every other song from Dirty Dancing. Oh my those were the days! We had so much fun. On Sundays, sometimes, I would go to church with my Grandparents. They went for a long time together, but later in life as my Grandma got ill my Grandpa would go alone. I liked to go with him. I always felt bad when I saw other older people at church alone or out to eat alone. Grandpa would sometimes take me out to breakfast if I went with him or sometimes to lunch. If we went to lunch we always went to McDonalds because it was my favorite and my Grandpa would let me get chicken nuggets and a cheeseburger because I could not make up my mind. In the evenings we would always watch baseball and if there wasn't a Pirates game or Indians game on TV then we would sit out in the breezeway and listen to it on the radio. Lots of times my Grandpa would be watching one game and listening to another. I have no idea how he did it, but he managed to keep stats on both games at the same time. We would have peanuts and root beer floats or even Drumsticks! He instilled my love of the game of baseball and still to this day I think of him everytime I enter a Major League Stadium. I used to love the Atlanta Braves and he would get so worked up when I would root for them over the Indians. Actually I really just loved Chipper Jones and had the biggest crush on him. Sometimes we'd even play checkers. Grandpa never ever let me win. He beat me everytime. I remember once hearing my Mom say, "Dad, just let her win one time." He said, "What will she learn from that?" I'll never forget that. Then I tried even harder to beat him, but never did. We had a grand old time together. I have so many fond memories I could go on forever, but I shall stop here. It's sad that Wes never got to meet either of my Grandparents or my cousin Jasmine, they surely would have loved him. Jasmine would surely have given him a hard time, but that was just her way. My Grandfather especially would have been pleased with Wes's love for the game of baseball and his love for his grandaughter.

Be still

I must say that after being married for almost three years (it will be three years September 24th!, yay!) things can tend to get a tad bit mundane. I mean seriously you can only "surprise" one another with nice things so many times before they in turn also become routine, which bothers me a great deal. Although I am a stickler (word?) for routine, routine also annoys me. I know I'm crazy. I mean don't get me wrong I like to go to walk the dogs in the morning, go to the gym at lunch, run the loop after work, make dinner, talk with Wes and read before bed on a daily basis and I freak out when this routine gets messed up, but the thought of my married life, my relationship with Wes, becoming routine really freaks me out. However, it is virtually impossible for this not to happen after years of being together, so I think any couple must take the proper actions to avoid having a boring relationship and put a lot of effort into keeping the relationship fresh and new!

Wes and I both have been slacking in this area for sure. I often try to blame him for this, however I do need to take the blame for part of it. I get so caught up with making sure that everything in our house is in its place, lunches are made, dinner is on the table and the dogs are walked that if he were to say let's just go do this or that on a week night I'd be like ah, but it's a week night and then my routine will get messed up. AAAAAAAh it's like a vicious cycle. So anyway, on Friday night,even though I had planned to cook dinner and even though the chicken already defrosted and even though we probably shouldn't be spending money on dinner we went down to the beach instead. We walked and walked on down the beach for I dare say a couple of miles. The temperature was perfect. There was barely anyone out there and I was excited when I realized that the days of tourists are winding down and the days of fall are drawing near and we could find solitude on the beach. We got it, barely a soul in sight. It was great. After walking for a while and heading back up the beach to Tower 7 for dinner we stopped and hugged and just stood there on the beach, eyes closed, breathing in the salt air. It's nice to just take a minute out of the routine days in your life and thank God. Mike reminded me of this on Sunday when he said that God says, "Be still and know that I am God." For me being still is nothing short of a miracle! If I am still you can probably bet that I am sleeping on most occasions. But on Friday night I was still and I could feel God's warmth all around me. I turned around to tell Wes how happy I was that we had taken the time to come down to the beach when he quickly said to me "Shhh, I'm praying." My heart melted. You have no idea what it sounds like to hear your husband say that to you after so many years of wondering if he ever, ever would. No idea. The feeling inside my heart was so overwhelming I thought that my chest might burst. I feel as though I've almost gotten all over the top with my talk of God as of late, but it's so hard not to talk about him when he is ever so present in your life. I hope I don't freak anyone out, but really this blog is as much for me to vent and express my feelings then anything, and I'm not obligating anyone to read these ramblings, so I can say whatever I want, right? Right. Anyway, we had a great night out for dinner and my marriage has been renewed!

The ocean is my strength.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in thepaths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of theshadow of death; I will fear no evil: for thouart with me; thy rod and thy staff theycomfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in thepresence of mine enemies: thou anointestmy head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me allthe days of my life; and I will dwell in thehouse of the Lord for ever.
psalm 23 - bible - psalm of david


I thought of that verse today as I was walking and being snotty and wanting things that I don't need or even really want just wanting and wanting to be somewhere else, anywhere else today besides work, besides in my life. I don't even know why, I'm happy, I am, I was just agitated and being self-pitying and crabby. So on the days I feel like this I walk...
and I think, I just I don't want to be here, Idon't want to do this, why do I have to work, why is this week so annoying? And to top it all off, my face is still fat. So I walked and I walked all the way right down to the beach and then I stood and I stared out at the ocean, waves crashing, storm looming, salt water rushing up under my toes and I breathed in a deep, deep breath. And I was fine. I am fine! The ocean is my friend! It is vast and beautiful and freeing. I walk the loop at lunch and everytime I walk down to the beach and put my feet in the sand , I am reminded that I live here! At the beach, I do! Sometimes it's like a dream, but then once I'm down there it's so real and so cool that I do live here in North Carolina, at the beach, where I've always wanted to live. Pretty cool. And today I shall not want anymore.

You find out who your friends are...

Over this year we've had some pretty amazing things happen to us and we've had to endure some pretty tough things as well! For example, Wes's back surgery and his grandmother's passing, along with my not so happy weekend of recovering from my wisdom teeth surgery. Wes has already blogged about this, however I thought of it first so I'm going to as well! You really do find out who your friends are when bad things happen and it makes me smile to see all the wonderful people we now call friends in this town support us in times of pain. When Wes had his back surgery in January, we had an outpouring of friends show up at our house with cookies, dvds, movies, soup, flowers, you name it. Everyone brought something. Everyone called, texted and wanted to know as soon as he was out of surgery how he was. They cared. Genuinely. I get choked up just thinking about it. When Wes's grandmother died and we had to make an unexpected trip to Pennsylvania for a week we got outpouring of cards and flowers. We had the most flowers at the funeral home! Now I'm not trying to set a record or anything, but the entire family was going on and on about how we must just have wonderful friends in this town and they're right, we do! Now this passed weekend, when recovering from my wisdom teeth, I noticed again the care and concern that each of my friends expressed individually to me to make sure I was ok. I am ok, chipmunk face still intact, I'll get over it. And thank you to everyone who called, sent me flowers, brought me baskets of soft treats, texted me, and sent their love via the web. Thank you so much. Last night at our small group for PC3 we split into guys and girls as we do sometimes, which I always love because it gives us girls more time to chat! I was so excited to share in both the joys and concerns that each of my friends expressed. Oh what joys we had last night! I am so happy to be there for these girls in their lives and I am happy to have them in my life to share my joys and concerns with. My friend Gina is having quite a hard time with bedtime rituals as of late and it breaks my heart to see her have to sit and listen to her boys cry while trying to figure out the right way to put them to sleep. I feel better, though, knowing that my prayers may be helping her through this tough time in her life and I am happy to call her my friend and show her my support. I told her last night, Girl, I give you credit, I couldn't do it! I need some practice before my kids are 2! Whew! But she is a beautiful person and she is doing great, as is her husband. I am so thankful, as I said for them, and for being able to pray for them as a family and for all my friends in this town who I can care for and show concern for, just as they have for me.

The Coast of Carolina...

As yet another year has passes me by, I just had my 28th birthday in June, I find myself reflecting quite a bit; thinking about where I've come from, where I've been, where I want to be in a few short years and what the future holds. As I sit here on my living room couch, with the cool breeze (yes you heard me right, I said cool breeze and it's August in North Carolina, can I get an alleluia!?) blowing upon my face, through the open windows, I must say looking back and looking ahead I can do nothing but smile. I never imagined I would be this happy at the young age of 28. Summer of course always makes me happy. I don't know if I have always loved summer because my birthday was in the summer or if I loved it simply because it is such a warm, care-free season, full of vacations and fun with friends and family every year. As a young child summer was always something to look forward to, first of all because school was out, but more so because it meant summer softball league, going to the Rec pool with friends, going to Buhl Club dances, playing hide and go seek in the yard, catching fireflies and putting them in a jar to light up your room, only to realize that you did not shut the jar tightly enough and now they are crawling on your mother's curtains and she is freaking and the most exciting reason, going to our camp in the Allegheny Mountains with my whole family. That is one thing I always looked forward to and looking back something I will always miss now that my family is dispersed all over this country and everyone's responsibilities have taken over, and we no longer get together there anymore. It's sad to me that that tradition has been lost, but in retrospect, the memories I made there long ago as a child will forever be in my heart and looking back at them I cannot help but smile.



Ah yes, summer. Summer means an array of things now as an adult, although it still means summer softball (yes I still play!). It also means summer volleyball for Wes and I, beaching and boating with friends, inviting visitors to come enjoy our town, cook-outs, camping trips, canoeing trips, traveling to as many baseball games as we can, walking the loop, walks on the beach and just enjoying the warm weather and sticky evenings in this Coastal Carolina town. I often find myself thanking God repeatedly when walking at the beach. I look out over the vast waters and think to myself how absolutely amazing that this body of water exists and I thank God for sharing it with me and for the sunshine on my face and for the breath in my lungs. Ah, yes Summer, it makes me so very happy. Just a breath of salt air and all my worries flutter away. Wilmington is now home to us, after 5 years of amazing memories and significant changes in our lives, we now call this town home and I couldn't think of another city I would want to spend my summers in.

Extinguished Existence

I came to a very sad realization the other day as I was updating my address book and that is that Wes's grandmother is really gone. You see what happend was Wes's cousin sent me an email with her new address and said they had moved. I opened up my nifty little Family Address spreadsheet and inserted her new address in the block with her name. When doing this I realized that Wes's Grandmother's address was just above hers. So I erased it. Then I thought, wow, just like that and she's gone. So weird. She is really gone. She no longer "exists" so to speak, well at least in an earthly world. She now exists among the angels and I believe is now probably playing scrabble with some friends among the clouds or baking some cookies for the others in heaven or maybe even playing cards with my grandparents because now that Wes and I are married they are friends. Oh yes I like that thought, my heart is smiling thinking of it.

You see it's hard to realize that she's really gone because we never saw her here. With the exception of our wedding, we only saw her in Pennsylvania,usually at her house, cooking, giggling, watching her grandkids and making sure that all of her family was together and happy and full. Man that woman loved to cook. She was a wonderful, wonderful, woman with a heart of gold and she surely is missed. I wish that we would have had more time with her, I wish that she could have seen our children, her great grandchildren, but I am happy to know that she did at least get to see one great grand child in her life time. I wish that life wasn't so fleeting here on earth. In a blink of an eye people that you love can be gone. Sometimes very unexpectedly. I am so happy that I wrote her all the notes that I did and that she sent me many recipes and updates on her weather and that she made good use of the slippers that we bought her for Christmas after shoveling her own walk. She loved those slippers. Such a simple thing and she was so grateful.

It makes me think of so many memories of my grandparents and how much I miss them and how I now cherish the time I had with them so much more. Oh how I wish that I would have sacrificed more nights out with my friends to just sit at my Grandparents house and watch baseball with my Grandpa or play cards with my Grandma with the big faced,numbered cards because she could hardly see them. I wish that I could go back to a time where life was innocent and care free and I had not a worry in the world and I was woken up by my Grandpa tickling my toes and the smell of bacon on a Sunday morning. I remember all the holidays at my grandparents house, Thanksgiving, Easter, Christmas, cooking feasts in the kitchen with my grandma, aunts, and mom, side by side, squabbling over who was making what and what time we should eat and who would even show up. I miss hearing my Grandfather laughing in the next room over all the women in the kitchen and how loud we were. I used to take my grandpa all the Christmas cookies that my grandma called "criminals" which meant they were just the least bit too brown, or the icing wasn't just right and my grandpa would get to eat those ones right then instead of waiting for the holiday to come! Oh those were the days. I remember hiding the Christmas cookies in the breeze way (the screened porch attached to their house) so that my uncles wouldn't find them and eat them all. In Pennsylvania in the winter time you can leave cookies just out in the breezeway because it stays so cold out there that the cookies stay frozen! After my grandparents passed away all of these traditions started to dwindle away as well and it makes me so sad to think of that loss of a central meeting place for our family. These are just a few things I remember about my Grandparents, I could go on for ages. But with those memories in tow, when meeting Wes's grandma, I knew that the traditions that she had in place had to be respected and that we must go to her house just like Wes did as a kid every Christmas. I am so happy looking back now that I was not one of those wives who drags their husband away from his family on holidays. I am so happy that last Christmas we were there, with all 20 some of us crammed into her small dining area, aunts and uncles smooshed at the kids table and me straddling a table leg at the end of the table and Wes's elbow poking his sister in the arm. It may not have been comfortable and the conversations may have been awkward, but looking back it is such a warm, warm memory that I will cherish for a lifetime. I hope that someday when my children have children and I am a grandparent that they love me as much as I loved Wes's grandmother and my grandparents. Then I will not care when my existence is extinguished for I will have shown them what love is.

What are we waiting for?

Cultivate Change. That's the title of our most recent series at Port City Church and I must say Mike's words have caused me to dig deep within my soul and contemplate how I might change this world, if even just a little bit. I have been thinking about my "soil" so to speak and if it is good soil because we have also talked about this in recent weeks. I might be a bit biased, but I think my soil is good. It might not be great soil, it might not be like the package of Miracle Grow potting soil that turns your basil plant into a basil bush that takes over your whole front yard, but it is definitely good soil. Soil that can grow many things with a little attention and the desire to grow something magnificent.

The weekend before last, the Port City service was centered around the song Waiting on the World to Change, by the ever so popular, I've dated every pop icon, model, and singer there is in the last 6 months, John Mayer. I must say I was a bit skeptical when learning of this. You see, now that Wes is super cool and a part of the production team at Port City, he gets the list of songs for the service before anyone else, which basically makes him a super star. Now I told Wes just because he knows the songs beforehand doesn't mean I want to, but alas he was listening to the songs in the living room and I happened to over hear Waiting on the World to Change, which of course caught my attention. My first reaction was, that's not a Christian song!! I thought about it and wondered how Mike was going to use this song to convey his message and then to be honest, I forgot about it. Then come Sunday I was astonished at just how well the song fit with the service and just how great Chad sounded up there rocking it out.

So that leads me to the title of this blog, what are we waiting for? What am I waiting for? Since I've moved to Wilmington and starting going to church again on a regular basis I must say that a fire is burning from within. I feel God prodding me and pushing me to do something, what that is I do not know, but I do know it's more than just going to church, more than just volunteering for Grow Zone, but something bigger. For a type A personality, perfectionist kind of girl like myself, it is extremely difficult to not know exactly what it is God wants me to do. After listening to Mike talk about how everyone in this generation is just waiting for the world to change (just like the song says) and waiting for someone else to pave the way for them, waiting for life to get a little easier, or for things to fall into place, so then their life will be complete, I realized that that is not what life is all about. Even if every single piece fell into place, our puzzles will be far from complete if we are not still yearning for a relationship with Jesus Christ. I wanted to stand up and yell, stop waiting, do something! I did not, however, for fear that Wes would run from me in embarassment and never attend another Port City service with me ever again. But I did pray and reflect on this message and I've been praying about it ever since. I've been praying, that God, doesn't let me wait around and let my life pass me by without thanking Him everyday for everything I have and without working hard to make a change in this world. I pray for the faith and trust to let go of the wheel, and let Him drive me to what it is He has waiting for me because in the end that's all that matters.