Perfection

So as I sit here right now I am extremely anxious. I keep trying to tell myself not to be, that everything will be fine, but I can't help but be a little bit anxious, nervous, overwhelmed, etc. You get the picture. In a little over two months Wes and I will be parents. Wait, what?! How did this happen? I seem to remember deciding to try to get pregnant and now all of a sudden labor is only two months away!!! Woah~!!!!!! So I shouldn't be nervous because I had a doctor's appointment on Monday and I heard all wonderful things. The doctor said the word perfect so many times I almost peed myself, which now a days seems to be no big deal. Note to all the girls out there who are not pregnant but may be in the near future: In the months 6-7 of your pregnancy, be sure to empty your bladder frequently because with a 3 pound child resting on your bladder any sudden sense of emotion, a sneeze, laughter or things of those nature can make you pee just a little. That may be too much information for some people out there, but oh well, it's the truth. Anyway, back on track. I got measured, heard the baby's heart beat, got weighed, got my blood pressure checked and all that fun stuff on Monday. The weight came first, which always makes me nervous. I start analyzing the minute I step on the scale, am I doing too much, not enough, is she going to tell me I'm a fatso and I need to be on a diet, etc. The doctor said my weight is "perfect" Yippee! I have been working really hard to continue going to the gym at least 4 or 5 times a week or walkingthe loop and it's working. Next she measured me and listened to the babv's heart beat, saying, "sounds perfect!" Again, yay! Everything else looked good as well, but I still can't help but be anxious about if this baby will be completely healthy. Ahhh. We have finished painting the nursery and are going to put crown molding up this weekend. We have a crib that my wonderful husband assembled and have a changing table in mind. Things are coming together and the room is looking adorable. I am getting more excited everyday to meet our little girl. She is a high energy little thing, pushing around a lot in there to the point where I can see her little extremities hitting my belly. Friends of mine have told me that they miss being pregnant and I used to think that they were crazy, but now that I have this connection to this little girl growing inside of me I totally understand. I think I will be saddened when I am no longer pregnant that she is no longer with me all the time. I hope that I can be half the Mom my mother was to me to this little girl.

Dancing Queen with no jeans

So every since Wes and I have been together I've wanted to take dancing lessons. Wes on the other hand; not so much. It's not that he doesn't like to dance because he can break it down. He has great rhythm and can shake his moneymaker. He just doesn't seem to be enthralled by a bossy lady giving him orders on how to do the two step, but our small group is going dancing this Friday night and so are we! While I'm super excited to learn some basic ball room dancing skills, I'm a bit nervous. I can't remember the last time I've been out to shake my booty, nor been dressed up enough to feel like dancing. My dress up attire includes work clothes which are by definition very boring! So, now I'm stressing out about what to wear on Friday night and if I can manage to wear a cute pair of heels in my 6 1/2 month pregnancy bliss. We shall see. Also, as many of you know, I have no cute jeans to wear. I am so sick of complaining about this I could scream, but still I cannot bring myself to spend 60 bucks or more on a pair of jeans that have a humongo panel in the front and will only be worn for 3-6 more months depending on how fast I bounce back into shape. Oh, this frustration is killing me. Why can't stores just carry a few pairs of cute maternity jeans in LONGS?! Is that too much to ask?! Hmph. So anyway, I'll probably wear my one pair of jeans that I own that fit, and some cute high heels to go dancing. I'll probably also be mildly frustrated upon starting to dance as Wes will be following right on key and I'll be stepping on his feet because he is just going to be better than me at dancing I just know it. I know this because he is more instrumental and sings way better than me. I guess I'll have to swallow my pride and just roll with it. I'm sure it will be fun either way. Babs McDance get ready, you're going to have a preggo with little rhythm and high heels on, things could get dangerous! :)

I love this song so much...

Everyone needs compassion
A love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Savior
The hope of nations
My Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever
Author of Salvation
He rose & conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me asYou find me
All my fears & failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender (I surrender)
My SaviorHe can move the mountains
My God is mighty to saveHe is mighty to save
ForeverAuthor of Salvation
He rose & conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
Shine Your light &Let the whole world see
We're singingFor the gloryOf the risen King
JesusYou're the SaviorYou can move the mountains
LordYou are mighty to saveYou are mighty to save
ForeverAuthor of Salvation
You rose & conquered the grave
Yes You conquered the grave

Generosity

We are doing a four week series at church right now called MORE and the focus of the series is money; more specifically tithing and how gaining control of the financial aspects of your life can set you free in a way(See Matthew 6:24). Although Mike's main focus is on the tithe, his other side kick focus seems to be generosity and for me that hits home more. He asked the question at the beginning of the series, "What comes first, contentment or generosity?" For me my gut reaction was that generosity comes first and that makes me content, but looking back to reassess, that is not always the case. This series has forced me to look long and hard at what we spend money on, what we need, and what we don't have that we want and surely don't actually need. The other thing this series has done for me is to highlight what a generous person my mother is and how indebted I am to her for teaching me to be kind, to give to others, and to be generous with what you have. As most of my close friends know, my Mom raised me as a single mother and has never had a lot of money. As a matter of fact, she has worked three jobs at times to make sure I had a nice Christmas, got the Cheerleading shoes I wanted or had the homecoming dress of my dreams. She always made it work. She never complained and she never once let on to me that she was barely making ends meet. Looking back, however, as an adult I know that she struggled more often than not, however she never ever and still to this day has stopped giving. I wish that I was rich enough to give back to her all the money I made her spend on useless brand name items and things that I didn't really need. Anytime anyone is in need, my mom is there. Anytime someone dies, my Mom will be the first to bring their family a dish of food and send them a card. She would be the first to call and make sure they are doing ok. We never went to a church on a regular basis because we didn't have a way to get there, but when we did go to a church, even if we were just visitors at that church I remember my Mom putting money in the offering plate. Even if it was just one or two dollars, she would still put the something in. Recently, a father of one of her neighbors in the apartment complex she lives in died, although she does not know the family on a "friend" basis, she knows them and knows that they didn't even have enough money to have a funeral for their father. She immediately cooked them an entire italian dinner and took it to them. I'm sure she sacraficed something on her grocery list that she wanted to make this meal, but she did it anyway. She is the reason why I am a nurturer by nature and the reason I enjoy taking care of others and doing for others. Some people say that I often don't take enough time for myself, but taking times for others is all the more rewarding if you ask me. So this leads me back to the tithe. Although I do not feel faithful enough to be able to tithe 10% of our income, that does not mean I should give nothing. As Mike noted on Sunday he does not think God is concerned with the percentage that is coming out of our checks each month, he is more concerned with our intentions and our hearts. I think my heart is in the right place, now it's just time to put some of the money in that same place. Easier said than done, but if the opposite of faith is worry and I have vowed to worried less and have more faith, then I must give! (Matthew 6:25)