I can't get no satisfaction....

"I can't get no satisfaction
Cause I try and I try and I try and I try.
I can't get no, I can't get no." Rolling Stones

That song just popped into my head when I sat down and decided to write. The other song that popped into my head is what Wes calls my theme song. It goes like this:

"I'm in a hurry to get things done.
Oh I rush and rush until life's no fun.
All I really gotta do is live and die.
But I'm in a hurry and don't know why. Alabama

So our church has come up with this thing called myoneword.org. Mike, our pastor, asked us to choose one word and reflect on it for the year. Think about it, pray about it and see how it works into our lives. Last year I was so indecisive that I never picked a word. Wes said it should be relax because I often forget to take time to do so, but I couldn't committ to that because I felt like that made me lazy. Hence the cycle of not relaxing repeated itself. I did get better about my compulsiveness and leaving some things for the next day when I became exhausted, but I definitely still have room for improvement.

This year I decided for my word that I would pick satisified. Why, you ask? Well because often times I find myself making endless to do lists, checking things off the list and then moving on to making another list, never taking time to be satisfied that I have accomplished what was on my first list. More in depth, however is that I seem to never be able to be completely satisfied with my life, which is ridiculous because I have a great life and it is definitely satisfaction worthy. I have a job, which lately seems to bea blessing in itself, I have a roof over my head, I'm healthy and I am so incredibly happy, mostly due to the fact that I am married to a wonderful man who has made many dreams come true and we continue to enjoy being with one another after almost 7 years. So, why the lust of moving on, moving up, getting one thing done to move to the next. I honestly don't know. I do know that there is always going to be somebody prettier than me, richer than me, with a bigger house than me and I should just get over it! I don't remember my mom being as much of a busy body as me or making incessant to-do lists around the house or being bored more often than not. I more so remember her being an organized, peaceful sole who could sit down and read a book after a long day and not feel guilty that she wasn't cleaning or doing something deemed more important, which by definition is obviously a matter of opinion. I think most women would say that a good book and a bubble bath are much more important than a clean house. :) I do know that she is one of the most selfless, kind souls I know. She taught me how to be a nurturer and for that reason I feel the need to take care of everyone else before I take care of me. I would much rather be doing something for Wes and making him smile than doing something for myself. That's just the way I am, but I still need to take time for me. In any event, Wes has taught me a lot about being satisfied. On more than one occasion I can remember him asking me to please sit down, to RELAX, to just enjoy the day for what it is. He is good at this and I should learn from him. In Matthew 6:25, the bible says, and Mike often references this in church,
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
28“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
And as Mike always says the opposite of faith is worry. I consider myself to definitely be a person of faith, however obviously I have a long way to go. I need to let go of the wheel and remember that as long as I am walking with God he will provide. Just typing that I feel empowered. So with that in mind, I am trying to stress less and relish in the moments of my life more. Afterall, I am pregnant and the moments for just Wes and I alone are going to be far and few between so I should enjoy the quiet oneness that we share while I can, and be satisfied that I have a husband who reciprocates my unconditional love and a life worth living not just rushing through.