Compassion

Sometimes I wonder about other people's level of emotion and compassion and often times I have to remind myself that just because other people interpret emotions differently and are different from me doesn't make them wrong or me right. I try not to judge. I am a very emotional and compassionate person by nature. Just this morning on my way to work I got teared up because it is very cold outside and I saw multiple people waiting for the bus. I felt compassion for them because they were standing out there and I had the convenience of driving my car. Surely this is not normal I thought. And no I am not pregnant nor is it "that time of the month." I have always as long as I can remember been a nurturing, care taker type of person and so for me when someone is not that type of person it is sort of foreign to me. I just had someone that I haven't really had any contact with in about ten years tell me "you were always that type of person to take care of me." That's nice to hear, but sometimes being compassionate and nurturing and empathetic and really emotionally involved in how your friends treat you and respond to you can be exhausting. I often over analyze email responses, voice messages, and conversations when half the time what the person said is really what they meant and there is nothing to read into. AHHH. Well I recently saw on a friends facebook page an article about the "hyper sensitive person." I read it. It describes me well, although I am not completely hyper sensitive I am a little over sensitive. So what does this post mean for me, I don't really know.
I guess I'm kind of just thinking out loud I felt the need to document it. I might be wasting your time by you reading this because really there is no climax or ending to this story. I think being overly emotional and compassionate at time reaps it's rewards too because at least I'll never look back in life and think I wish I had been more invested in this or that or I wish I was more emotionally involved in my family's life. I take caring, nurturing, and loving seriously.

It's Christmas time in the city!!!

At my house I like to start celebrating Christmas early. I remember as a kid we always stayed at my Grandparents house the weekend after Thanksgiving and we put up all of my Grandma's decorations. My Grandpa would then come home from hunting camp and hang the outside decorations. I wish that I had asked for more of the lights and ornaments but when my grandparents passed away I was in college and didn't know what I would do with them. So anyway I'm glad now that I at least have my Grandma's nativity set and we have a set of Wes's grandmother's bubble lights!

This past weekend we went got our Christmas tree. When we got home on Saturday night we were starving and it was already 8 pm so we decided to wait until Sunday morning to bring the tree in and put it up. Airlie was napping when we did this and when she came out to see the tree in the living room she really got excited. It was such a sweet sight to see. I put a box of ornaments that are unbreakable together for her to hang, however she wants to just keep them in the box. She looks at each one individually and then puts them back in her box. She is very particular about them. Too cute. She also at first wanted to grab and hit every ornament on the tree in excitement so we taught her to use one finger and touch, as Mam-Mam tells her. She is doing alright. We had a really fun weekend together, Wes had off three days, we got the tree, did a little bit of shopping, cooked some yummy soup, went to church and really just enjoyed being a family. That saying that everything is better when you see it through the eyes of a child is so true, especially when it's your own sweet little girl. I love my family and I LOVE the miracle of Christmas!

Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs in my field, since the payment is pure love. ~Mildred B. Vermont

So I have another post from the summer typed and ready to go but I need to add pictures to it that are on a throw away camera (because I lost mine for a week) but I just never remember to develop those pictures. So alas, that post will come out of sequence, gasp.

Anyway, back to now, back to today and how I have been reading and thinking and reminiscing and just wanting to capture my feeling of being so full of love for Airlie on paper, or screen, so to speak.

We had a really nice weekend, although we didn't do much of anything and it was pretty ordinary it was just nice. As I watch Airlie grow into a little girl from a baby girl I am reminded everyday just how sweet she is. I love watching her try to be me. She puts a purse on each arm and off she goes to her little flintstone car. She attempts to put both purses and her stuffed dog and sometimes a baby in the car with her. Then she tells me, "Bye, bye, mama, see u 'morrow." She is definitely starting to use her little imagination. She also is so helpful to me. She picks up laundry that I drop, as she says, "oops" then says "here you (go) mama!" and hands me whatever it is that I might need help with. I am 100% sure that a little boy will never want to help me so much if we ever have one. she likes to narrate what we are doing and I hear lots of times during the day, "I eating" or "I sitting." I love the sweet innocence she looks up at me with as she says "up mama" and how now as she is coming to understand her emotions and body more she actually likes to rest on my lap even if it is just for a moment. On Saturday after Wes went to work I told myself I wouldn't do any chores I would just enjoy Airlie and I'm proud to say I did just that. As a working Mom it's easy to just try and get everything done around the house on the weekend but I don't want to miss out on these times with Airlie. I want to soak everything in, to remember the make-believe, the dressing up, the wanting to be me, the helpfulness because I know she won't always like me this much. Her sweet voice each morning saying Mama and every night saying Nite, nite is enough to make this mama's heart melt. And she now seems to say a new word everyday. This weekend she pointed out the moon and the sun to me and told me I was holding a spoon and a fork. She waves "bye-bye", blows kisses to MamMam (the name she gave my mom) and asks for Dada every night at bath time and every morning when I get her up. Thank you God for this beautiful sweet daughter of mine. She makes everyday a little sweeter.

Sweetness

Today I spent all day with Airlie Mae. Wes works on Saturdays again for the time being so that leaves the day after 2 pm to Airlie and me. We did a whole lot of nothing today, but at the same time we did so much. We stayed home the majority of the day and then this evening met some Mommy friends for dinner at the OC. Today consisted of playing hide and go seek, dress-up, reading a multitude of books, pushing around the flinstone car, chalk on the walk, playing in the pool and then of course a bath. Airlie's sweet laugh is enough to bring me to tears and she is so fun! She now knows that my name is Mom and that she can call me by it so she follows me around the house saying Mumumumum. It is so funny. Her new favorite game is hide and go seek and so we played that a lot today. She thinks it's hysterically funny when I jump out and scare her. We had an absolute ball just hanging out. I love days like today. She just gets more fun everyday!

Whirlwind

So every time I think of something I want to write on here I am no where near a computer. Most likely I am either in bed, jogging, or driving. I need to look into that blackberry ap where it dictates what I say into a word document. So anyway. Here I am finally sitting down to capture some happenings in our life on paper or ah on screen I guess...

The months since I last wrote have been a whirlwind of sorts. This summer has been crazy and I am yet to catch my breath. We kicked off the summer with Airlie's 1st birthday which I have previously blogged about, then we moved right into my 30th birthday, a trip to Pennsylvania, the 4th of July, a trip to Myrtle Beach, 3 birthday parties for our good friends children, my mom leaving us for a vacation in PA for two weeks, Wes's uncle and his family came to stay with us and then we went to visit them in Myrtle Beach for a weekend, Wes's Mom coming to stay with us, Wes's mom's side of the family vacationing at Ocean Isle for a week, and then us leaving for Chicago for a week. Whew. Like I said total whirlwind.

So after the celebration of my 30th birthday we had some days off in June and decided to take an impromptu trip to Pennsylvania and surprise Wes's dad for Father's Day. We had a great time enjoying the non-humid weather and Kneobel's Amusement Park in PA as well as just enjoying spending time with Wes's family. Airlie was an angel in the car for the full 20 hours. What a sweet girl she is! July 4th weekend Uncle Jim and Aunt Nancy and Casey came to stay with us on a Friday night and then on Sunday we went to see them at their condo in Myrtle Beach. Their whole family was there with their kids. It was fun to watch Airlie with all her little cousins! It was nice for all of us to get a few hours to catch up. We are looking forward to seeing everyone again in October at Linsey's wedding! Then, with my mom leaving us for two weeks I needed to find sitters for Airlie while she was gone. I was overwhelmed with the support my lovely stay at home mommy friends were willing to offer. What a sweet reminder of the wonderful ladies I am friends with in this town. I was worried that Airlie would not adjust well to being at numerous different houses throughout the week, however she did fine. She napped, ate, played, and had an overall great time with all the mamas and their kids. This made me so happy! After the first week was over Wes's mom came to stay with us and watch Airlie during the day. It was interesting for me because Deb and I are almost never alone just the two of us, it's usually the whole family. It was nice to have some one on one time with Deb and just talk about things we don't normally get to talk about. Airlie also adjusted well to staying with her through the day. Then after this week was up the whole Quinn clan showed up for a week at Ocean Isle Beach. We ventured over to hang with them 3 or 4 times and Airlie had fun hamming it up with all the cousins. They were all so great with her and really made us feel loved. I hope that in the future the beach trip ends up close to us so we can spend more time with everyone! Last but not least we ventured to Chicago for 5 days, just Wes and I. Chicago is an awesome city. I must have been asleep in geography when we learned about it, but I had no idea that the Chicago river ran through the city or that it bordered Lake Michigan. Wow, what a pretty place. It was so cool to be in the city and then have a beach and palm trees right down the street. We had fun learning the subway system, eating at many many great restaurants, shopping, seeing Chamberlain! and just enjoying time with just the two of us. I really fell in love with Wes all over again during this week. We really needed some time to ourselves. I also realized that 5 days was way too long for me to leave Airlie. I missed her way more than I thought I would and by the last day after missing our flight due to the fact that we NEEDED to eat at one last restaurant, I was in tears. I missed her so much and couldn't wait to get back and get a hug. She was equally excited to see us and the next day pretty much let me hold her all day. So sweet. In other non-traveling news Airlie was taking a few steps at the beginning of July but now is walking and running full force. She is all over the place and growing up way too fast. Her baby rolls are slowly disappearing and she is getting taller and quicker. My baby is becoming a little girl. So, whew, that's what's been going on here the last few months. In August we have virtually no weekend plans and I am excited to do nothing!!! Here are some photos to capture the memories...

Wes and I at Wrigley Field

Airlie at Ocean Isle Beach

Me at Navy Pier in Chicago

On the bridge in the city

I think this is Michigan Avenue in Chicago

Erin Flip and I at Piccolo Sogno. Best Italian ever.

US Cellular Field

Wrigley~!

Mark, Linsey and Airlie in Myrtle

Airlie at Brennan's Party

Hannah and Airlie at Ocean Isle

Airlie at Brennan's 1st Birthday

Being silly!

All the little cousins in Myrtle beach!

Celebration

Last week we celebrated Airlie Mae's 1st Birthday! I cannot believe it. A whole year has gone by since my sweet little girl entered this world. It has been by far the most amazing year of my life. Some days I honestly cannot believe I made it. I remember back to the first days at home. Day one I was on a life high and I even cooked Wes and I dinner. I remember beaming to him, this is fine, we can do this. Day 2 the adrenaline had run out and exhaustion was beginning to set in. Then came the anxiety and the inability to sleep even when the baby actually was sleeping. Those were not fun days. Thank God for my Mom and Mother in law coming to the rescue or I don't know what we would have done. Wes was also a champ pulling all nighters so I could get some rest. Now, looking back life seems so serene, so normal, but my baby girl is a baby no more. She is quickly becoming an independent little sweetie. She feeds herself, helps dress herself, pretends to read books to herself, feeds the dogs, and does all kinds of other fun things. I can't begin to list them all here. As I said life is moving right along and Airlie is growing up. We only have one feeding a day together and I know it too will soon be gone. As a working Mom I am trying to cherish every moment I have with my little girl and remind myself that the mess will still be there when she goes to bed, but these days of saying, "Hi Daddy!" so sweet in the morning and "Oh flowers!" out the window while Mommy waters them will soon to be gone and she will be even more independent and grown up. Aww...bittersweet it is.
For Airlie's birthday we had a party at the park by our house and about 20 of our friends were able to make it. I have learned that May is a very busy month for parties, weddings, graduations, etc. We had a great time at the park and the decorations and food came out just how I had planned. We also spent some time at the beach with Wes's Mom who was in town and my Mom on Sunday just relaxing. All in all it was a really wonderful weekend celebrating the birth of our first baby, Airlie Mae Bechtel. It is true what people say when they say you never know unconditional love until you feel the love of a child. The way she looks at me each morning so excited when I come to her crib and the way she looks up at me each night as I lay her down to sleep is so loving, so innocent, so pure. It makes me feel so blessed to have her and her daddy. Happy 1st Birthday Airlie Mae. We love you so very much and you make my heart grow more full each day!

Of course here are some pictures !

Wes, Deb and Airlie at her party

Airlie, Dede, and Gram at the party

I'm 12 months old!

First taste of cake!

The fam!

Mom, Airlie and me

Awesome cake that my Mom made!

Food and table

Happy 1st Birthday sign I made. So proud!

More food!

Violet from Aunt Kathy!

Relaxing at the beach on Sunday!

Morning of her birthday

Yay a flower, Daddy!

Time flies...

Wow! Where has this year gone? I cannot believe that this Wednesday Airlie Mae will be a year old. She is changing from a sweet baby to a little girl very quickly. This change is so bitter sweet. Things in our house quickly went from neat and orderly to very messy virtually over night just months ago when Airlie took off and started crawling. Now she is pulling up on everything in sight and even standing on her own for seconds at a time. She is getting very independent and eating everything under the sun. One thing is for sure she inherited her parents love of food. To this day she has not disliked a single food I have offered to her and I swear as long as Wes and I are at the table eating she will eat right along with us. What can I say, she socializes with food and drink just like her mother! Speaking of being like me, she sure does talk a lot. She says a lot of words now a days, such as dog, doggy, bird, duck, Daddy, but most recognizable is the word Flower. Who knew that a one year olds favorite word would be flower. She says it in the sweetest voice and it makes my heart melt. The other day she and Wes picked me some dandelions from the yard and my heart just about exploded when she gave them to me. I cannot even begin to express the joy that a child brings to your life. It is amazing. This past weekend we took a short weekend trip to Bald Head Island, NC with some of our friends. Although we were only gone for two days I really missed Airlie a lot. She seemed to have missed us too. WE did enjoy our adult time on the island, eating, laying in the sun, drinking fruity beverages and just relaxing. It was a very nice break. Now this week I am onto finishing up the preparations for Airlie's first birthday party this weekend. I just can't believe it's been a whole year. What a wonderful year it has been. Airlie has made this whole parenthood thing very easy because she is such a pleasant, sweet child. I am so spoiled with her that I am sure baby number 2 will come out terrorizing the world just to get us back! haha. Airlie's party is going to be full of pink and green polka dots and we are having it at a park close to our house. I am very excited about it. I am also excited to see Airlie's face when she tastes cake for the first time since the only sweet thing she has had besides fruit this year is a couple bites of ice cream. Again if she's anything like her mother and father she will want to eat the whole cake!

Gratitude

So last night I'm sitting at home looking through a cookbook for something to cook this weekend on one of the nights when my husband is actually home and feeling sorry for myself that he is NOT home most nights with me. Lately it seems easy to fall into this trap of feeling sorry for myself and not being motivated to do anything at all. I don't know what my problem is. I don't know if it's the dreary weather that has plagued the south more so this year during winter than normal or what but for whatever reason lately I am s e r i o u s l y draaaaaaagggggggging all the time. So last night I thought suck it up Kristen, your husband is in the country, he does sleep in your bed every night and it could be a lot worse! I then pulled out my bible and my Solo book to do a lesson. The book flipped open and landed on a page. I thought what the heck, I'll just do this lesson. It's title: Gratitude. Seriously? Oh yes, God is at work all the time and right at this given moment apparently He wanted to be heard. so I did the lesson which had me write a list of all the things I am grateful for, wow, the list is plenty! I have nothing to be unhappy about. Reality check well taken. In other news, it is spring, officially. The first day is tomorrow and to welcome spring Mother Nature seems to be happy enough to give us a couple of days of warm sunshine. I couldn't be more excited to spend some time outdoors with friends and family. Airlie Mae is growing up right before our eyes. She is on the verge of crawling and has five teeth! She is also trying hard to talk and at times I believe she is saying Daddy, doggy, dog, Hi, Hiya, and what's that, but I'm not positive. She pats her baby when she hugs her and says, "Awww." It is so adorable. She is happy and healthy and thriving and I couldn't ask for a better baby. SHe is just so pleasant all the time. My favorite times of the day are still morning and evening feedings when it's just her and I snuggled together and quiet. So of course here are some pictures to accompany this lovely little post. Enjoy!

Looking like such a little girl.

Happy 10 month birthday baby girl!

Look at those teeth! CHEESE!

Wes and Airlie downtown

All dressed up for Daddy's birthday celebration

So big, so fast.

My little girl is growing up right before my eyes and way too fast! She now has three little teeth which are absolutely adorable and horrifically sharp just like puppy teeth! She is rocking back and forth and contemplating crawling but has not actually crawled yet. She is more into the roll over and back multiple times to get where she wants to go. Today as I was in her room putting on my makeup she dropped her pacifier over the side of the crib, she then pulled herself up and looked over at it, holy cow! Time to drop the mattress down! I have never seen her do this move before and quite frankly I don't like it. I must say that this age where we are now is my favorite so far. Airlie definitely has her own little personality and is getting more independent by the day, but she still loves us and needs us so much. It is fun to see her response when I come home for work, arms up in there air, and smiling from ear to ear. It is clear that she misses me when I'm gone and this makes me so happy. She also is developing a sense of humor and likes to tease her daddy and me by giving us the pacifier and then quickly stealing it back. Her attention span amazes me daily because at 9 months she is willing to sit with me on the chair and read at least 2 whole books, sometimes 3. She is very persistent and will work at getting a zipper on my sweater up and down or on opening the tv stand door for many minutes until she accomplishes her goal. She definitely knows what she wants and when she wants it and is not afraid to show it! Daddy says she gets this from her Mom. hmmm...She loves music and waits in the morning for me to turn it on and when the music comes on she claps! Her favorite CD is one from Grammy called Catch the Moon. I must say I enjoy it too. But even though she is doing all these things on her own and quickly growing from a baby to a little girl she still loves to cuddle her mama at night. Morning and nighttime feedings are by far my favorite times of the day. It's such a peaceful time in my daily routine where I think of nothing else besides Airlie, our family and God. I often find myself praying when feeding Airlie because I feel so much peace and love at this time. I feel so strongly to thank God for this little miracle He has blessed us with. She is just so perfect. Every time I look at her snuggled up with me my heart grows a little more. And every time I think back on the day and remember times that I've watched Wes with her or heard him singing to her my heart again fills up. We are so very blessed. I am proud of myself because I am doing much better at slowing down and enjoying every single moment of my baby girls life. She will only be 9 months once and I know this. I am cherishing everything. People are right when they say that it's a different kind of love you feel when you have a child. It is so very different from loving a spouse because this tiny baby knows nothing but innocent love. They have no expectations for you, nothing to compare you too, they only know that they want you to love them and although this love is different from the love of a spouse it makes me love Wes so much more for the wonderful father he is.

Here's to me!

So this past Monday was not only the beginning of a new week, but also the beginning of a new month, so I thought what better day than that day to start leading a better life and being more DISCIPLINED. After all that is myoneword for this year. So I decided I would try and go to the gym at least 4 days this week and eat healthier throughout the week and control my binge cookie dough eating at night. I'm proud to say that I made it to the gym 4 days this week and I only had either 2 cookies or 2 cookies worth of cookie dough each night for dessert. I also did really well during the week at work. I denied a co-workers cupcakes, a bosses bread, and multiple urges to stop and get a latte on the way to work! Yay. I'm proud of myself. Finding time to work out is hard when you work full time and have a 9 month old babe. I go to the gym at lunch, but some days I just do not feel like it. A couple of days this week I did not want to go and started making excuses in my head of many other things I could have done instead of going to the gym, however I forced myself to go and told myself just get in there and walk on the treadmill, it's better than doing nothing at all. But once I get in there I am pumped up and I work out hard. I'm feeling great today and my jeans are already loose. Losing weight is not really my goal, just being disciplined and healthy, but hey I'll take it. In other notes Airlie Mae is growing so fast it is crazy. She has two adorable teeth and another coming through on top. She is enjoying all kinds of fruits and veggies and some prunes now due to her stopped up bowels. But she likes prunes, truth is the little girl will eat anything you put in front of her just like her mom and dad. We have yet to give her a food that she doesn't like. I think this weekend we are going to try out some tofu and yogurt! She is also now getting up on all fours so maybe she will crawl this century, although she is quite content just laying and hanging out. This dreary, rainy weather has (literally and figuratively) really put a damper on my spirits lately. I'm really missing Wes at night and longing for longer days and warmer nights. I cannot wait till it is still light out after work and I can take Airlie for walks. I am so looking forward to spring, taking Airlie to the park, feeding the ducks, playing some volleyball, etc. All in all life is full speed ahead and we are all doing fine. Here's some recent pics of course.

TEETH!

NEW HIGH CHAIR!

The most wonderful time of the year has come and gone..

This year was a really special year for Christmas for us because it was Airlie's first! She was a lot more into Christmas than we thought she would be, although really she just wanted to play with the wrapping paper and bows and could have cared less what was actually in the packages! It was nice to be in our own house for Christmas but weird at the same time. This year was the first time ever that Wes, my mom and I were not in Pennsylvania for Christmas. Although each year I complain about having to travel to PA because it is stressful and always too quick of a trip I must admit I missed being in PA for the holidays. I missed pulling up to Wes's parents house and the dogs knowing we were there, I missed seeing the snow, I missed Candy cane lane, I missed seeing my family, but we did enjoy Christmas here also. It was very relaxing. We went to church at 4 o'clock on Christmas Eve and then had my Mom over for a yummy array of appetizers and cookies. I must admit I was super excited to finally be in North Carolina to attend the Port City Christmas Service. It was amazing as to be expected and the music really filled my heart with joy for the Christmas season. On Christmas Day we had a delicious ham dinner at my Mom's house. The following week Wes's parents came down from Pennsylvania and stayed through New Years. We enjoyed having them here and are always sad to see them leave. Airlie got all kinds of fun stuff for Christmas, including an adorable Mermaid doll and light up sea horse (two of my favorites) Her favorite toy seems to be the fake cell phone she got (Daddy's girl already!) I got a super cool smore maker that makes some delicious smores along with many other thoughtful gifts from Wes. Here are some pictures from the holidays.

Christmas Day at my Mom's house

Airlie and me at Mom's

Mom's beautiful house decorated for Christmas

Airlie posing in her Santa hat!

All the goodies we made for friends and family!

Bechtel Family at our house on Christmas Eve

Airlie and me!

Reading before bed with Daddy.

Reading the Night Before Christmas with Gram!

On her way to her first Christmas party!

It's a reindeer, no it's Airlie!

On the way to pick a Christmas Tree

She liked touching the branches!

Airlie and me by our tree